Last Friday I went shooting with my Father-in-Law Dick. I had never shot a pistol that wasn't air or water powered before. As you can see from the picture, I did pretty well for myself. It would be natural to chalk my shooting up to beginner's luck, but my secret is much simpler than that. I have logged countless hours playing Area 51, which is an arcade game with a gun, and it's your job to put the kibosh on an alien-uprising in a top-secret military compound. Normally I'm not one to toot my own horn, but I do have to point out that I have personally averted the end of the world many times, as well as found two bonus rooms along the way. What's the point of all these wasted hours spent at the front of Smith's making aliens explode? Well, I think that it's obvious that I'm your go-to guy if we ever get invaded by body-snatching, zombie aliens. Or if there is ever a surprise attack from stationary Granny Smith apples. And if the day should ever come that there is an uprising of zombie Granny Smiths, then I'm quite possibly the only person qualified to face that onslaught.