Sunday, July 27, 2008

True Pioneers

Rocky wore the bonnet that came with her blessing dress in celebration of Pioneer Day. Unfortunately, it was a little too small. Considering that it was made for a burial, I guess I should just be grateful that she could wear it at all. She looked more Amish than pioneer, but I think the Amish are cool, so I was down with it. We took her to the parade, which was awesome as always. The Ogden parade is always about 15 hours long, but I insist on going every year. I remember going with my grandma and will continue to go until I can watch it with my own grandchildren. This year had the usual marching bands, floats, and horses. I like the Shriners the best, but this year there were only a few. I was also disappointed because last year the Oscar Mayer Weiner Mobile was the grand finale. They gave everyone a weiner whistle. This year, no weiner. What a drag. But, despite the obvious downer, we had a good time.

That night Brandon and I felt that we should remember the pioneers by cooking over an open fire. We had the family over for some hobo-dinners.

I'm pretty sure that the pioneers didn't have aluminum foil, or cream soda, or ice, or popsicles, or seven layer bean dip, or chips, or paper cups and plates, but other than that it was exactly like the pioneers.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Oh give me a home, where the horseflys swarm

On Saturday, I ran in the Xterrra Antelope Island 12K. I thought that because I was running on Antelope Island I would be able to see some really interesting wildlife. For the record, I didn't see any buffaloes roaming, nor any deer and antelope playing. I did, in fact, hear more than a seldom discouraging word when I was running up the hills. There was an article about the race in the paper, and this is what the race organizer said about the hills: "You can actually run all the way, but you've got to be a stud. It's steep enough most people will probably power hike it." I don't want to imply anything, but I didn't have to walk at all. Okay, I'm lying. I did have to walk about a hundred yards, and I was trying really hard to imply something there.

I'd like to give some shout-outs to a few things that made it possible for me to finish the race. Thanks to my "pump-it" sweat band and to my mother-in-law for giving it to me. Kudos to my Key Bank t-shirt for not chafing my nipps. And a final gracias to the Flo Rida song " Low" for getting me through that last, tough hill (it was a free download, alright?). But seriously, how can you get more motivational than inspired lyrics such as: "I was just like a clover, shorty was hot like a toaster." I mean, really, you can't top that. That is some well-crafted musical prose.

Look how cute my little family is.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The subway!!!

Last Tuesday we went to Southern Utah to hike the Subway in Zion National Park. It was awesome!!! It's like a naturalist's candy store down there. There is beautiful scenery and really cool wildlife everywhere you look. I felt like Darwin getting off the HMS Beagle at the Galapagos (minus the seasickness and the scurvy of course). We saw among other things: Eastern Fence lizards, Canyon Tree frogs, an American Dipper nest with babies, an Arizona toad, a Black-necked Garter snake, Wandering Garter snakes and tons of Brook Trout fingerlings.

Friday, July 11, 2008

You may be put in an awkward social position before the day is out...

It is frightening to me how spot-on horoscopes are sometimes; it's almost supernatural how much they know about our current situations. Take Rocky's for example (she's a Taurus). Her horoscope from yesterday said "You are entering a phase of high energy bur reduced effectiveness on the job - it's a result, no doubt, of scattered interests." Incredible. It's like someone has peaked through our window, and wrote this one specifically for Rocky. Her interests really have been scattered lately between the rain forest mobile on her swing and her bouncy seat that sings this song to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star: "Playful puppy up above. Kitty there for you to love. Bumblebee and bunnies too. They're all here to play with you." Between all of this, her regular office job has really been suffering lately. There have been a lot of complaints from customers, and I wouldn't be surprised if she got censured quite harshly on her next performance review.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


The only thing that Rocky likes to do as much as watching T.V. on the sly is staring at the ceiling fan. We have all kinds of toys, a swing and a bouncy seat that she has virtually no interest in because her heart belongs to the circular motions of the fan. Because of the Central Air that keeps our apartment frigid, in order to run the fan Brandon and I have to sport beanies. But, because we are dedicated parents, we bundle the baby, and ourselves so that she can indulge. I'm sure there are "studies" somewhere that say that ceiling fans pretty much destroy a baby's brain or that they cause cancer or something because it seems that is the case with anything that Rocky likes.

Take the binky for example. I've read numerous sources and have been told by several people that letting Rocky have a binky is about as harmful as letting her smoke pot. If she takes it she will surely starve and will never succeed as a functional adult. Our little Rocky LOVES her "Pinky" as we like to call it. As a concerned, if not paranoid mother, this has caused me some amount of stress, especially because she is so skinny. I try to take it away and Rocky will try to suck on her wrist. Her little legs will start kicking and her voice will begin whining. I always bend in and let her enjoy herself. The first week of her life Brandon suggested that we only let her have Pinky at night but that only lasted about five seconds once we realized how much she likes it. I've noticed other mothers who use a superior tone of voice and say, "Oh, my baby won't even take a binky." Their kids are living life without the chains of addiction with which my child is already bound. I, personally, think the binky is awesome, which is why we have four of them. They are always strategically placed all around the house, like my mom's reading glasses, so that wherever we are, one is close by.

Hopefully Rocky's attachment to Gerber's Nuk brand pacifiers will stop before she goes to jr. high, and hopefully nobody ever does a study on ceiling fans.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

¡Viva España!

All the experts agree that babies shouldn't watch TV because it can negatively affect brain developblah, as well as offsetting the balance of blah in the blah-blah, not to mention the blah to blah blah blah. Blah. So we, like any well intentioned parents, decided before Rocky was born that she wouldn't watch TV until she was at least 38. All of this came to a screeching halt last week when we watched the European Cup final between Spain and Germany. We had Rocky facing away from the TV, and she was practically breaking her neck to be able see the game and cheer for the Spanish side. Well, in all honesty, it was more like drooling in support of the Spanish side. So we gave in and put her in the Bumbo for the last few minutes of the game. We might be bad parents for allowing something that would interfere with proper brain development. But we could never be forgiven for not letting her witness Spain win its first major title in 44 years. She was really into the game, as you can see in the picture. I think she liked it all, except that she didn't think that Torres deserved a yellow card. She promptly expressed her disgust by filling up her diaper. And those hooligans in England claim that they're passionate about the game.

Thursday, July 3, 2008


Everybody likes to think that their child is more advanced and smarter than average. We're no different, but now we have empirical proof to back it up. Rocky just turned two months old, and we thought it was time to try out the Bumbo. Aside from being a word that's extremely fun to say over and over, the Bumbo is billed as the Baby Sitter (Note:two words. Not to be confused with Suzie down the street: one word). The Bumbo is made in South Africa, making it possibly the most important thing to come out of South Africa since Nelson Mandela or the end of the Apartheid.
The box says that the Bumbo is suitable for babies between the ages of 3 to 14 months. By mastering the Bumbo already, Rocky has shown that she is clearly on track to being a wunderkind. Or that or that she has a world class sitting-fanny. Or that she's just small enough that her neck can rest on the back of the Bumbo. I guess only time will tell.